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Posted by cravehunger on 2009.10.31 at 16:30
Current Mood: contentcontent
Hello to all the aspiring perfect bodies out there in cyber space. Im new to this community.

I used to be on LJ alot last year but I was forced into recovery. Basically my family was like gain weight or we will cut you off and try to have you admitted. I am a college student and there is no way I could miss school and even though I support myself financially I know that if I ever needed anything my parents would help me out the best they could. Well now I'm over that biz-nasty. I'm depressed because I am yet again a fat ass. I have not been doing well in school or anything. I cant do well in school if Im in recovery but I can't succeed while I 'm super depressed either sooo fuck it . Im back to the old me. I want my body back and I am gonna do a better job at convincing my parents that I am healthy. See the thing is even though ana does consume my life, its a part of me. It's how I think and I can't help it, it cant be ignored. Plus I really am kinda healthy. Like I went to my doctor at my lowest weight and my heart was ok. I take alot of vitamins and the food that I actually do eat is healthy and full of antioxidants and all that good shit. Sooo LET ME BE DAMN! Ugh I can't stand people who try to tell you how to run your life because they dont have the SLIGHTEST clue what its like to be you. Like all the boobs who get on these sites and bash us and bla bla bla sticks are ugly and all this shit. Don't they understand that ana is PSYCHOLOGICAL its hard not to think those things. Part of ana is feeling alone because you cant talk to anyone about...... sooooo wouldn't it be better to have a community of individuals who understand you instead of falling into a bout of extreme depression b/c you have no one I honestly think that is worse.

But now that I am done bitching about that and telling my life story haha as I was saying used to be on LJ alot but the sites I used to visit suck now and are extremely inactive :( sadness!!!!! Soo I hope this community is a flourishing one b/c I NEED MY SUPPORT.  
Thats all for now


lanthea_n at 2009-11-02 02:20 (UTC) (Link)
wow i no exactly how u feel! im obsessed with keeping an eye on my BMI and although i restrict and feast etc i always make sure i take all my vitamins and what i do wat is always healthy and i exercise and try to keep fit and have a good blood preasure and pulse rate; so its like why cant i just be left alone!

I love these comunities, i only very recently discovered them ,and they make me feel so much better, so much less alone and all the suport is amazing! <3
lisarowe21xxx at 2010-09-21 12:50 (UTC) (Link)
i feel your pain. everyone always says i abuse my body and i'm not healthy. the last time i got a check-up i was perfectly fine! i understand you and this is a great community :)
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